I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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