I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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