I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
