I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Randomize
