LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
