There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
