I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize