1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
