OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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