so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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