one word: firstdatebathroomanal
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.