Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.

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(248): the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick. http://tfl.nu/f71t

Replies (2) Good night (769) Bad night (1032)
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(323): View more from California

Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.

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(323): Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups. http://tfl.nu/guyb

Replies (7) Good night (3834) Bad night (1081)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.

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(303): I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete. http://tfl.nu/q4l5

Replies (19) Good night (4740) Bad night (1227)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.

(1-270): View more from Kentucky

You should've just screamed yes we can!

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(270): Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad. (1-270): You should've just screamed yes we can! http://tfl.nu/ng19

Replies (52) Good night (9133) Bad night (1686)
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(801): View more from Utah

I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?

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(801): I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes? http://tfl.nu/05g8

Replies (5) Good night (4013) Bad night (964)
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(207): View more from Maine

you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand

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(207): you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand http://tfl.nu/om9i

Replies (8) Good night (4725) Bad night (1210)
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(702): View more from Nevada

Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.

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(702): Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent. http://tfl.nu/4is5

Replies (20) Good night (5485) Bad night (1038)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match

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(720): I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match http://tfl.nu/pm5g

Replies (11) Good night (4372) Bad night (1470)
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(408): View more from California

Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.

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(408): Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick. http://tfl.nu/f6ps

Replies (8) Good night (993) Bad night (2299)
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(914): View more from New York

We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.

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(914): We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar. http://tfl.nu/5gv0

Replies (13) Good night (4027) Bad night (770)
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(646): View more from New York

If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better

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(646): If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better http://tfl.nu/zbhj

Replies (3) Good night (1573) Bad night (973)
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(310): View more from California

Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).

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(310): Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok). http://tfl.nu/yawu

Replies (2) Good night (917) Bad night (378)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry

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(262): And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry http://tfl.nu/q1qo

Replies (9) Good night (1091) Bad night (376)
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(678): View more from Georgia

She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.

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(678): She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away. http://tfl.nu/rg5h

Replies (3) Good night (757) Bad night (301)
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(903): View more from Texas

is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?

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(903): is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex? http://tfl.nu/7moc

Replies (7) Good night (336) Bad night (325)

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