it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He's a Shit stain on my heart
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯