Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  with your own penis?

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  (248): with your own penis? http://tfl.nu/apjm
  Replies (7) Good night (3222) Bad night (1113)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children

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  (419): this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children http://tfl.nu/wdp5
  Replies (4) Good night (631) Bad night (3614)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long

  (1-604): View more from British Columbia

  wtf you measured my hair?

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  (604): found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long (1-604): wtf you measured my hair? http://tfl.nu/f3a1
  Replies (20) Good night (1466) Bad night (4614)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  You suck.

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  (248): Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier. (1-248): You suck. http://tfl.nu/uyss
  Replies (41) Good night (959) Bad night (3531)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit

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  (214): And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit http://tfl.nu/wkai
  Replies (55) Good night (3114) Bad night (1529)
• Favorite

  (+47): View more from Norway

  I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian

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  (+47): I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian http://tfl.nu/2tom
  Replies (21) Good night (5311) Bad night (1155)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.

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  (832): Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on. http://tfl.nu/m36i
  Replies (16) Good night (1391) Bad night (5339)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu

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  (619): why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu http://tfl.nu/w1ae
  Replies (6) Good night (1926) Bad night (1421)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.

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  (623): Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes. http://tfl.nu/phpt
  Replies (1) Good night (1770) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov

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  (610): My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov http://tfl.nu/bb85
  Replies (7) Good night (1064) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.

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  (440): I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me. http://tfl.nu/i18g
  Replies (8) Good night (451) Bad night (1039)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  God I adore you.

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  (720): I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night. (303): God I adore you. http://tfl.nu/8nlv
  Replies (2) Good night (1310) Bad night (679)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours

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  (503): I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours http://tfl.nu/g0b7
  Replies (4) Good night (700) Bad night (1204)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.

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  (716): Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package. http://tfl.nu/axq4
  Replies (3) Good night (1097) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes

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  (315): turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes http://tfl.nu/o917
  Replies (1) Good night (938) Bad night (341)

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