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• (818): View more from California

  actually, I'm a sock model

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (347): View more from New York

  i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  It was pathetic and I was covered in butter

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose

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• (415): View more from California

  I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.

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• (646): View more from New York

  Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.

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• (914): View more from New York

  At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...

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