Texts From Last Night

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  (453): View more from

  apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.

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  (453): apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it. http://tfl.nu/3val
  Replies (15) Good night (768) Bad night (4148)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here

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  (303): dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here http://tfl.nu/onu8
  Replies (15) Good night (5313) Bad night (546)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.

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  (519): Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins. http://tfl.nu/y67p
  Replies (41) Good night (5092) Bad night (705)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot

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  (630): i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot http://tfl.nu/y6a1
  Replies (12) Good night (3521) Bad night (1097)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage

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  (406): He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage http://tfl.nu/22pw
  Replies (8) Good night (3834) Bad night (1013)
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  (585): View more from New York

  that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag

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  (585): that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag http://tfl.nu/7pz9
  Replies (11) Good night (1547) Bad night (3904)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.

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  (908): Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas. http://tfl.nu/cnc6
  Replies (13) Good night (3403) Bad night (778)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.

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  (219): I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex. http://tfl.nu/x3q5
  Replies (13) Good night (1055) Bad night (1446)
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  (559): View more from California

  It was like die hard. Except with more penises.

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  (559): It was like die hard. Except with more penises. http://tfl.nu/fa39
  Replies (5) Good night (945) Bad night (569)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.

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  (303): Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos. http://tfl.nu/xwgl
  Replies (5) Good night (816) Bad night (559)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.

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  (847): Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos. http://tfl.nu/unc3
  Replies (16) Good night (1938) Bad night (621)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.

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  (586): He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head. http://tfl.nu/0c7d
  Replies (11) Good night (902) Bad night (519)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?

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  (732): I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/2e8m
  Replies (1) Good night (485) Bad night (290)
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  (909): View more from California

  Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man

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  (909): Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man http://tfl.nu/x5ba
  Replies (3) Good night (558) Bad night (287)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.

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  (647): I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation. http://tfl.nu/zjsi
  Replies (1) Good night (352) Bad night (164)

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