actually, I'm a sock model
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
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i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
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I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...