I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.