you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here