We're facebook friends in real life
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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