The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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