Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize