we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
