hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
