I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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