did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
