I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
