My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
