I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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