STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
