let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
