It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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