**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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