addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Randomize