True but thats because hes a fetus.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
