if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
