Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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