Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
