She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize