I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
