She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
