The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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