You're completely useless in the revolution.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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