Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize