after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Drunk is a universal language darling
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
