420 ftw
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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