Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
