and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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