We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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