The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you didnt know i had herpes?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
