I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
