i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
