I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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