Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
