Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
