I'm sorry my penis didn't work
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
whose ass print is on the piano?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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