I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Randomize
