So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
