Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So here I am, sexting at work.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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