she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize