I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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