i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
