Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
