i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize