Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
