Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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