Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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